Narcissistic parents hurt their children in many ways. The abuse is not always evident and children are not aware of the Always Remember Legends Never Die RIP Rush Limbaugh 1951-2021 shirt but I will buy this shirt and I will love this psychological and emotional abuse they suffer. They realize that only in adulthood. Many adult children of toxic parents have not yet realized that their parent was a pathological narcissist. Everyone is self-cautious and cares to a certain degree what other people think about them, that’s human nature. But the narcissistic parent acts differently at home than they’re out in public. The narcissistic parent takes pride in flaunting their social status, physical appearance, material possessions, and accomplishments. But when they no longer have an audience, they stop with the nice act. They either criticize or talk about others behind their back. Parents who are emotionally healthy love their children no matter what. When their children do something wrong they’ll punish them but it’s still obvious to the children that they are loved. Narcissists don’t display love for their children. They don’t have the ability to love their children, so they will only give out conditional love, like when you are succeeding in something or when they can brag about you to their friends. That’s when they’ll show you love and affection, but the minute you do something that embarrasses them or rebel against them, they will cut off your supply of love completely. They’ll give you the silent treatment and might even do underhanded things to get you back. And when a parent like this raises you, it’s easy to see why when you become an adult you turn into a classic people-pleaser. You grow up thinking that all love is conditional because that’s what your parents taught you and so you constantly feel like you must prove your worth in order to be loved. You constantly feel like you have to make everyone happy in order to earn love. The sense of shame is always there inside of you, making you feel like you’re not good enough. Narcissists see their children not as individuals but as extensions of themselves, so they see their children as their property. They don’t see their child as a thinking human being that deserves privacy and respect. So a narcissistic parent will always cross your boundaries, and that includes buzzing into your room without knocking, not respecting your privacy in the bathroom and so forth. One common and really disturbing situation with girls who are raised by narcissistic mothers is the issue of a virginity check. You can imagine what goes on in the mind of a teenage girl when her mother forces her to take a virginity test in order to prove her sexual inactivity.
When mothers look at their daughters, they see youth, they see beauty and so a normal mother would want to nurture that and help that flourish and grow. But a narcissistic mother is jealous and will actively try to destroy her daughter’s self-esteem, even competing with her. Narcissistic mothers especially are in competition with their kids the Always Remember Legends Never Die RIP Rush Limbaugh 1951-2021 shirt but I will buy this shirt and I will love this minute the child is born. If someone pays more attention to the child than her, she will resent the child. Narcissistic fathers may become extremely jealous when the children are growing up and start seeking independence. When their son or daughter start romantic relationships, the partner is never good enough for their narcissistic parent. Narcissistic parents protect their ego, and if they feel they are losing control or their ego is hurt, they become cruel, blaming and offensive. A healthy parent controls their children for good, but a narcissistic parent will want to decide everything: your career, who you can date and when you can move out. When you start thinking for yourself and stop asking their validation, they start bullying you. Narcissist parents will do their best to keep their children in a child-like dependent state at all times. They don’t want their children to grow up and gain their independence because that means their children would go off on their own. And they can’t let that happen because how could they fill their supply from their children then? So they will not teach their kids how to cook or the other basic things that you’re supposed to teach your child. In the end, the child will always feel like, I’m dependent on my parents and I can’t make it without them. There is also mental abuse as well because they’ll constantly put their child down while reminding them that they’re helpless. In this state, you will never even try to reach out for help; you’ll always feel like you have to come back to your parents because your self-esteem is low and so shoddy. You feel like the whole world is against you. The truth of the matter is that there are people in the world who would be happy to help you and who would love you more than your parents could, but narcissist parents do not want you to know that, because that means you will leave them and then they have no one to abuse and they lose a source of supply.
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